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Summary
Summary
A New York Times bestseller!
In the tradition of Speak , this extraordinary debut novel shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault.
Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn't change who she was. But the night her brother's best friend rapes her, Eden's world capsizes.
What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved--who she once loved--she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she's supposed to tell someone what happened but she can't. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.
Told in four parts--freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year--this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman's strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, and while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.
Author Notes
Amber Smith's first novel is The Way I Used to Be and her website is AmberSmithAuthor.com.
(Bowker Author Biography)
Reviews (4)
School Library Journal Review
Gr 9 Up-In this raw and powerful account of a sexual assault and its aftermath, 14-year-old high school freshman Eden is a superachiever, considered a nerd by her friends. Her life is normal and happy-until her brother's best friend rapes her. The whole episode takes about five minutes, but it changes her forever. She wants to tell someone but can't, paralyzed by fear of the lasting words of the rapist: "Tell someone and I will kill you" and "No one will believe you anyway." This is an important novel for both victims of sexual assault and the general public to read. Told in four parts, from freshman to senior year, it is a graphic account of the impact of sexual violence and how Eden, the victim, becomes empowered and courageous over time. Some listeners may find it unrealistic that Eden's mother did not notice her daughter's bruises after the rape. Rebekkah Ross's narration is vivid and appropriately dramatic. The mood is sobering and reflective, appropriate to the theme of the novel. VERDICT This dramatic telling of the aftermath of sexual violence is moving and realistic. ["An important addition for every collection": SLJ 1/16 starred review of the S. & S./Margaret K. McElderry book.]--Ellen Frank, Flushing High School Library, Queens, NY © Copyright 2016. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Publisher's Weekly Review
According to RAINN, the largest anti-sexual-violence organization in the U.S., 80% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, and 68% go unreported. These statistics underpin Smith's debut, which opens with 14-year-old Eden being raped by her brother's best friend while her family sleeps down the hall. Kevin tells good-girl, band-geek Eden that no one will believe her, and she's sure that he is right: Kevin is her brother's teammate and roommate, and her family revolves around her brother. While Eden changes virtually overnight, no one knows what happened-largely, it seems, because no one wants to. Smith tracks Eden through her four years in high school, spotlighting her shifting relationship with her friend Mara, the caring boyfriend she lies to, and her increasing acting out with booze and sex. It's painful to watch Eden disintegrate but also true to the double burden she carries-the violation of the rape and the weight of carrying the secret. The long-term view Smith takes of Eden's story makes it all the more satisfying when she does find her voice. Ages 14-up. Agent: Jessica Regel, Foundry Literary + Media. (Mar.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Kirkus Review
In the three years following Eden's brutal rape by her brother's best friend, Kevin, she descends into anger, isolation, and promiscuity. Eden's silence about the assault is cemented by both Kevin's confident assurance that if she tells anyone, "No one will ever believe you. You know that. No one. Not ever," and a chillingly believable death threat. For the remainder of Eden's freshman year, she withdraws from her family and becomes increasingly full of hatred for Kevin and the world she feels failed to protect her. But when a friend mentions that she's "reinventing" herself, Eden embarks on a hopeful plan to do the same. She begins her sophomore year with new clothes and friendly smiles for her fellow students, which attract the romantic attentions of a kind senior athlete. But, bizarrely, Kevin's younger sister goes on a smear campaign to label Eden a "totally slutty disgusting whore," which sends Eden back toward self-destruction. Eden narrates in a tightly focused present tense how she withdraws again from nearly everyone and attempts to find comfort (or at least oblivion) through a series of nearly anonymous sexual encounters. This self-centeredness makes her relationships with other characters feel underdeveloped and even puzzling at times. Absent ethnic and cultural markers, Eden and her family and classmates are likely default white. Eden's emotionally raw narration is compelling despite its solipsism. (Fiction. 14-18) Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Review
Eden McCrorey's life before the incident was textbook awkward. A band geek and good student, she harbored a secret crush on her beloved older brother's best friend. But her life is overturned when, in her freshman year, that best friend rapes her late one night in her own bed and threatens to kill her if she tells anyone. She keeps the secret and soon finds herself using sex and boys to gain control over her own body. Slut-shamed at school, she distances herself from her best friend and a loving boyfriend while losing interest in music, academics, and her own future. Smith's debut novel is divided into four parts, one for each of Eden's years in high school, and follows a believable continuum of self-loathing as she struggles to process and eventually share the truth of what happened to her. It's a difficult, painful journey, but teens who have experienced rape and abuse will be grateful for this unvarnished and ultimately hopeful portrait. Eden's shell-shocked narrative is an excellent conduit for what Smith has to say.--Carton, Debbie Copyright 2016 Booklist