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Cover image for When children grieve : for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses
Format:
Book
Title:
When children grieve : for adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses
ISBN:
9780060084295
Edition:
1st Quill ed.
Publication Information:
New York : Quill, ©2002.
Physical Description:
xxiii, 256 pages ; 21 cm
Contents:
Introduction: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First -- Monkey See, Monkey do -- What's the Problem and Whose Problem Is It? -- What's the Problem? -- What Is Grief, Anyway? -- Obvious and Hidden Losses -- Never Compare Losses -- Time Doesn't Heal -- Actions Do -- Normal and Natural -- Crisis Behavior -- Between the Problem and the Solution: Six Major Myths -- Looking At Myth 1: Don't Feel Bad! -- Sweet but Dangerous -- Without Sadness, Joy Cannot Exist -- We Are Not Exaggerating -- Who's Responsible for Feelings? -- Looking at Myth 2: Replace the Loss, Part One -- All Relationships are Unique -- The Stolen Bicycle -- Toys and Dolls -- Gone but Not Forgotten -- It's Time to Meet Leslie and Learn More about Cherished Possessions -- Replace the Loss, Part Two -- Looking at Myth 3: Grieve Alone -- Multigenerational Pass-Through -- Grieve Alone -- A Closer Look -- Why Do People Grieve Alone? -- Is Alone Ever Okay? -- Here's Some Good News: Different Beliefs Produce Better Results For Children -- Pause to Reflect and Recap -- Looking at Myth 4: Be Strong -- Wait, There's More -- Strong or Human, Pick One! -- Looking at Myth 5: Keep Busy -- A Dangerous Illusion -- The Real Impact of Loss: Keeping Busy and Dwelling on Pain -- Dwelling on Pain Is Sometimes the Result of Not Being Heard -- Heard at Last -- Looking at Myth 6: Time Heals All Wounds -- Corporate Grief and Grief in the Classroom -- No Time Zones -- Moving From Grief to Recovery -- Looking for "The Book" -- John's Quest Continues -- What Is Incomplete Grief? -- Is Incomplete Grief Only about Bad Things? -- Helping the Helpers -- It's Easier to Fill an Empty Cup -- Scuba Diving Lessons -- The Critical Transition -- Boundless Capacity -- Delicate Strokes -- If Your Kids Are Older, Do Not Despair -- Do We Know Enough Yet? -- Short-Term Energy-Relieving Behaviors (S.T.E.R.B.s) -- Do You Know Where Your Child's Energy Is? -- Short-Term Relief Doesn't Work -- Recapping Part Two -- The Path to Completion -- What is Completion? -- The Relationship Review -- Relationship Reviews Happen Automatically -- Who Goes First? -- Pick the Fruit When It's Ripe -- Real-Life Examples -- Out of the Mouths of Babes -- Good-bye, Mr. Hamster -- All Grief Is Experienced at 100 percent -- The Death of a Pet -- Random Memories -- Helping Your Child Review the Relationship -- Sleeping in the Bed, or Not -- Minding the Steam Kettle -- The Emotional Energy Checklist -- Children and Their Pets: Reviewing Events and Emotions -- Emotional Energy Checklist: Death of a Pet -- What to Do with the Review -- Converting Emotional Energy Into Recovery Components -- Recovery Components -- Apologies First -- Apologies to Living People -- Apologies to People Who Have Died -- Should Parents Ever Apologize? -- Time Doesn't Create Completion: Actions Do -- Recovery Components: Forgiveness -- Forgiveness Is an Action, Not a Feeling -- Recovery Components: Significant Emotional Statements -- Are the Same Things Significant for Everyone? -- Some Significant Comments Require Forgiveness -- Fond Memories -- Recapping This Section -- Death of a Person -- Reviewing Relationships with People Who Have Died -- The Death of a Grandparent -- Uniqueness Is the Real Issue -- "Less Than Loved Ones" -- Complex Relationships -- Emotional Energy Checklist: Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance -- Recapping Part Three -- Is It Soup Yet? -- Before We Move On, We Honor the Readers -- Moving from Discovery to Completion -- Continuing Litany vs. Freedom -- Carrying the Litany Is a Heavy Load -- Exaggerated Memory Pictures -- Freedom Feels Better -- Zeroing In on Completion -- "Thumper" -- Delivering, Completing, and Saying Good-bye -- Leading Up to Jessica's Letter -- Jessica's Completion Letter to Thumper -- Entirely Different but Exactly the Same -- Very Close to NaNa -- Emotional Energy List -- Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance -- Chronicling Events that Occur After a Death -- Amanda's Completion Letter to NaNa -- One More Letter -- Jeffrey's Letter -- New Discoveries -- What About Jeffrey's Sisters? -- Concluding Part Four -- Other Losses -- Focusing on Moving and Divorce -- The First Big Move -- Transitional Events -- What Not to Do -- Moving -- On Divorce -- Leslie Gets the First Word -- The Divorce of My Parents -- Bad New -- Bad News -- Long Term or Sudden Impact -- Whose Divorce Is It? -- Multiple Losses -- Sometimes We Get Lucky -- Don't Fix Feelings -- Don't Be Fooled -- Relief Is Only the Last Feeling -- Noble Sentiments, but Hearts Are Still Broken -- One Central Issue -- Unique Is Still the Bottom Line -- Where Is the Focus? -- Taking Sides -- Children Sometimes Blame Themselves -- What Can You Do to Help? -- Leslie Gets the Last Word, Too -- Closing up Shop -- The "D" Word -- Illusion of Protection -- Solid and Clear Reference Point -- Sometimes the World Travels Backward -- Talking About Death with Your Child -- Curiosity Helps Children Learn -- Euphemisms + Metaphors = Confusion -- Four Weddings and a Funeral? -- Forty-five Years Later, but Who's Counting -- Win-Win -- Chloe and Carrie Sue and the Real Meaning of Time -- Three Generations -- Spencer's Accidental Owners -- Tuning In to Elizabeth -- The Grief Recovery Groupie -- Our Completion with You.
Summary:
A guide to helping children grieve that explains several myths, gives practical advice to parents, and covers various causes of grief in addition to death, including divorce and the loss of a pet.
Holds: