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Summary
Summary
In a candid and ultimately uplifting memoir, international swimming star Amanda Beard reveals the truth about coming of age in the Olympic spotlight, the demons she battled along the way, and the newfound happiness that has proved to be her greatest victory.
In this candid and ultimately uplifting memoir, Olympic medalist Amanda Beard reveals the truth about coming of age in the spotlight, the demons she battled along the way, and the newfound happiness that has proved to be her greatest victory.
At the tender age of fourteen, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet.
Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile. With no other outlet for her feelings besides the pool, Amanda expressed her emotions through self-destructive behavior. In her late teens and twenties, she became bulimic, abused drugs and alcohol, and started cutting herself.
Her low self-esteem led to toxic relationships with high-profile men in the sports world. No one, not even her own parents and friends, knew about the turmoil she was going through. Only when she met her future husband, who discovered her cutting herself, did Amanda realize she needed help.
Through her renewed faith in herself; the love of her family; and finally the birth of her baby boy, Blaise, Amanda has transformed her life. In these pages, she speaks frankly about her struggles with depression, the pressures to be thin, and the unhealthy relationships she confused for love. In the Water They Can't See You Cry is a raw, compelling story of a woman who gained the strength to live as bravely out of the water as she did in it.
Reviews (4)
Publisher's Weekly Review
In this bold and candid memoir, Beard details her sudden rise to Olympic fame, its huge toll, and how she reclaimed her life. Beard swam in the 1996 Olympic games in Atlanta; she was 14-years-old. She won a gold and two silvers, and would go on to swim in the subsequent three Summer Olympics in Sydney, Athens, and Beijing, medaling in each save the last. She was a smart, talented, athletic overachiever, but behind the scenes, her life spiraled out of control. A self-described late bloomer, Beard was wracked with insecurity as puberty ushered on the pounds, and the limelight broadcast the changes. She recalls finding newspaper clippings her father had hidden in which "sportswriters called me fat, washed-up, and finished," though she was only 15 at the time. Nevertheless, she continued swimming, going on to join the University of Arizona swim team, where she met fellow Olympic swimmer Ryk Neethling. The two were soon became a couple, but the constant fighting and stress of competition led Beard to anorexia and cutting herself. In 2001, she went pro and signed a four-year contract with Speedo, and things started to look up. But when Beard accidentally cut herself too deeply one day, she finally relented and sought help. Now a healthy wife and mother, Beard still swims professionally. Her remarkable story, courageous resilience, and honest self-assessment make this an inspiring read. (Apr. 3) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Kirkus Review
Candid though bland memoir of an athlete juggling award-winning aquatic prowess with hobbling insecurities. In straightforward prose, seven-time Olympic medalist Beard recounts her bubbly childhood with her family amid the manicured lawns of sun-drenched Irvine, Calif. Her blooming obsession with neatness, order and compulsive "Windexing" sparked high-energy sports participation, beginning at age four. Swimming eventually trumped all else ("Water had become my getaway"), and the author began years of dedicated training with competitive clubs. Bolstered by the full support of her family, Beard qualified to compete in the 1996 Olympics at 14, where she won a gold medal and two silver. However, in addition to the emotional toll of her parents' unanticipated separation, the author faced the embarrassment of late-onset puberty, mild dyslexia and the pressure to deliver self-confident performances in a sport she considered "incredibly monotonous." Determined training sessions throughout her youth became marred by botched romances (including a relationship with NASCAR star Carl Edwards), bulimia, drug experimentation and depression-fueled self-inflicted "cutting" that persisted well into adulthood. Still, the photogenic Olympian (who posed for Playboy in 2007) went on to win 21 medals to date. Now 30, Beard writes gushingly about her supportive husband, new baby and a happier life with an anticipated return to the Olympic arena. Though the narrative tone and delivery remains amiably direct, this style leaves little room in an awkwardly stiff, workmanlike portrait for much-needed personality. For sports junkies fascinated by determined athletes back in the game after near emotional ruin.]] Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Review
In 1996, at 14, swimmer Amanda Beard first competed in the Olympics. She won three medals. There followed three more Olympics, more medals, a high-profile modeling career, international celebrity status. But as Beard reveals in this straight-shooting autobiography, her life wasn't as glorious as it was supposed to be. Dogged by feelings of inadequacy and undiagnosed depression, psychologically crippled by self-inflicted torture (bulimia, drugs, alcohol, cutting herself) even as she reached heights most young female athletes could only dream of, she feared she was on an endless downward spiral. The book's structure will be familiar to readers of sports (or, indeed, Hollywood) memoirs: early success, years of secret misery, ending with an inspiring life transformation. But that doesn't mean the book is a case of been there, done that. It is sensitively written, and its portrait of a young girl swept almost against her will into a life she wasn't prepared for is moving and full of key life lessons. A cautionary tale for readers of all ages.--Pitt, David Copyright 2010 Booklist
Library Journal Review
Now 30, Beard is a seven-time Olympic medalist, a veteran swimmer who has competed in the last four summer Olympics. She is now training with Team USA for the 2012 games in London. In this candid memoir written with Paley (Dogs 101), Beard doesn't hold back as she chronicles her challenges both in and out of the water. Starting with her parents' divorce and her struggles in school, Beard tells of using the pool as an outlet for her frustrations. The stories of her later battles with cutting and bulimia serve to inspire rather than rebuff. Engaging on many levels, this memoir resonates with readers by addressing real-life issues, not just those facing Olympic athletes. Glimpses of the inner workings of the competitive swimming world add interest for swimming enthusiasts. VERDICT Obviously well suited for fans of Beard and Olympic swimming, but also for general readers interested in memoirs about human struggle and triumph.-Holly Hebert, Brentwood P.L., TN (c) Copyright 2012. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.